Jokes-5

Sardar to Girlfriend- Darling main tum se shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana kar rahe hai.
Girlfriend- Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar- 1 biwi aur 3 bachche...

Sardar in a row to catch bus. after many ladies got in the bus, he try to get in,
DRIVER- no more, no more.
Sardar- Morni, Morni to chada li, ab hum chadne lage to
No mor.

Sardar:Express kitne baje ki hai?
TT: 1baje
Sardar: local?
TT: 9 baje
Sardar: malgadi?
TT: 12baje,
TT: kaha jana hai?
Sardar: Patri pe tatti karni hai

Sardar wife se : shanti ko bulao
Wife : Kaun apni kamwali?
Sardar : Haa
Wife : Kyun?
Sardar : Doctor ne bola hai ki goli khao.. aur shanti k saath so jao.

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 14th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu k pathe EVERY YEAR

Dr. Sahab Plastic Surgery karwane me kitna kharcha aayega
Dr.- 5 lakh
Sardar: agar 'Plastic' hum de to.

Teacher ask 2 sardar student : A for?
sardar: "apple"
Teacher: "jor se bolo"
Sardar: "JAI MATA DI"

sardar ne apne ghar ki aadhi diwaar paint karne ke baad niche likh diya.
SAME AS ABOVE.

Ek sardar ki maa ki tabiyat kharab thi,
Jb hospital le gaye to
dr. bola- in ka test hoga.
Sd bola-in ki umar zyada he
test nahi one day ya 20-20 karva do.

Sardar- mujhe apki beti se shadi karni hai,
Boss- teri income to us k toilet paper bhi afford nahi
kar sakti,
sardar: acha! itni potti karti hai to phir rahne do.

Gang of sardars broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find glasses full of chilled lassi.
Happily they drink lassi and left
Next day's headline-
sperm bank looted

Sardar- "Dr.saab, ye dava kisi bhi medical store me nahi mili rahi hai"
Dr- "OHH SORRY, medicine likhni to mai bhul hi gaya
ye to mera signature hai"

In an interview
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: dhurrrrrrrrr
Interviewer shouts: stop it
Sardar: dhurr dhup dup dup dup!

Nurse- mubarak ho apke ghar beta paida huwa hai,
sardar- wah g wah kya technology hai,
Biwi meri hospital me hai, aur bachcha ghar paida huwa hai.

Sardar ka bura din: Darwaja khola Kundi hath me,
Nal khola Toty hath me, Suitkess uthaya Handel hath me,
ab dar raha hai su su karu ki na karu...?

Sardaro ki party chal rahi thi, Dj wala bola, kab tak Dj bajau?
Party Owner- tu 12 baje tak baja de uske baad to saale generator ki awaz pe hi nachte rahege!

Sardar ki Girlfriend ne usko sms bheja "I Miss U"
Socho Sardar Ne Kya Reply Diya hoga?

Socho?

SochO

"I Mr. U"

Sardar : kal jo shampoo liya tha uske saath wala free gift do.
shopkeeper : uske saath koi free gift nahi hai,
sardar : mujhe bevakuff mat samjo us par likha hai "DANDRUFF FREE"

1 Ship me 300 Sardar ja rahe the, bina Ship doobe
sabhi doob gaye
Kaise?
?
?
Ship band ho gaya
aur
sare Sardar dhakka dene k liye utar ga


Dhirendra Jha

Joke-IV

1st Sardar: 0ye Agar Neend Na Aye To Kya Kiya Jaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend Ka Intezaar Karne Se Behtar Hai Ki So Hi Jaye.

Sardar- Dr.main Khudko Bhagwan samjhne Laga Hu
Dr: Ye Problem kab Se Hai?
Sardar: Jabse Maine ye Duniya Banai hai.

aaj ki taza khabar: Sardar ne apni sagai tod di. Kyunki ladki kunwari thi,
Sardar ne socha- jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi.

Ek admi ne sardar ji ko pucha: Public ne aapko kyuu mara?
Sardar: Bus me mera photo gir gaya, maine bola Madam Saari upar karo photo lena hai.

Sardar- Bachpan me Maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
Judge- Kya kehti thi maa?
Sardar- Kaha na, kabhi baat suni hi nahi..

galti se sardar ji ladies toilet me ghus gaya saare mahilaon unko dekh k khadi ho gayi aur chillane lagi.
Sardar: izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai. BAITHO... BAITHO..!!

Ek sardar blue film dekh raha tha?
achanak apni biwi ko usme dekh kar chouka aur gussaya, phir baad me hans kar bola- ye to film hai, koi real life thodi hai?"

Sardar Ne Biwi Se Poocha: Aaj To Chicken Bahut Tasty Hai, kuch Khas Masala Lagaya Hai Kya?
Biwi : Kuch Nahi Thodi Si Jal Gayi Thi... Isliye Barnol Cream Lagaya.

Sardar was kissing a girl. Ek aadmi dekh raha tha.
Sardar:- Kya dekh raha hain?
Aadmi:- Mera number kab aayega?
Sardar:- Is ladki ke baad.

Sardar got a job in AIRTEL
customer: Hello my AIRTEL sim locked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tention remove AIRTEL sim put BSNL,
thank u for calling.

1 sardar daru k nashe me taxi me betha
bola chalo airport chalo
taxi wala: tum airport pe hi ho
sardar: yelo 50 rs. dubara itna taiz mat chalana.

Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, mashoka le ker kahan nikle "Sardar gets furious & slap him & says"
Oye.."mashoka hogi teri. Meri to behan hai"!

Bus chali...... Jhatka laga, 1 sardar 1 ladki pe ja gira,
Ladki boli: badtameej kya kar rahe ho.
Sardar bola: Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com. Kar raha hu..

Sardar: Bhai sahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham k 6 baje hain!
Sardar: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon,
sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
Sardar road se gujar raha tha, achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya aur achanak CHILLAYA !!
"haramjaade log TATTI bhi aise karte hai jaise SAMOSA pada ho.

Ek sardar apne marriage certificate ko 1 ghante se dekh raha tha
WIFE: tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
SARDAR: expiry date dhoond raha hu

Dr. k Band Clinic k aage lambi line thi,
1 sardar bar- bar line me ghusta, log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete,
sardar- Lage raho saalo, mai bhi clinic nahi kholunga.

Chhota Sardar: Mummy kal raat ko, phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.
Mummy: kamine aaj phir tune fridge mein susu ki!

Sardar on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.
She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.

Ek Sardar ki maut bijli girne se ho gayi..
par uski laash muskurate hui mili
Bhagwan ne pucha "aisa kyun"?
sardar ne kaha- "MAINU laga koi PHOTO KHICH raha hai"

1 truck dusre truck ko rassi s band kar leja raha tha,
ye dekh kar 1 sardar hass hass k kehne laga 1 Rassi ko le jaane k liye do do truck!

Train ruki to ek aadmi ne khidki k pass baithe sardar se pucha- kaun sa Station hai?
sardar bahar dekh kar kuch der soch kar bola- "Railway Station"

Sardar see a mobile tower with Red Lite On Top
Sardar: India is developing very fast,
Now we have TRAFFIC SIGNAL for PLANES.

what does a sardar ji scream, when the money came out of the ATM machine...?
?
?
I won... I won...?

interviewer: where r u born,
Sardar: punjab
Interviewer : which part?
Sardar: kya which part whole body was born in punjab.

a man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM

Sardar Train me susu karne gaya,
wife:apka pajama gila kaise hua?
Sardar: waha likha tha...
sharir ka koi ang baahar na nikale.

2 seater helicopter crashed on 'KABRISTAN' in panjab Next day news- PUNJAB me hawai jahaj gira Sardaro ne 250 lashe dhund nikali aur bhi talash jari hai.



Dhirendra Jha

SMS Jokes-III

Meeting U was fate, becoming Ur friend was choice, but falling in love with U was completely out of my control.

A memory lasts 4ever, & never does it die. True friends stay 2gether & never say good bye.

I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realized that loving a friend is even better, we lose people we love but we never lose true friends.

Everyday I see Lots of Strangers Passing By me, This makes me realized that, Life would be BORING, Without A person Like U...

I May Not Be a clock That may Text U 24hrs a Day But My Heart Will be Like a Clock That will not s2p Caring & Saying U r always Remembered. Take Care.

A ring is round & has no end.... & that's how long I'll be Ur friend

another month,another year,another smile,another tear,another winter.a summer too... but there? ll never be.........
another you!

IF u erase this msg it means u LUV me,if u keep it u WANT me,if u simply ignore it,u really ADORE me!so,what r u going to do?

The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

Its so hard 2 lose some1 that is 99% cute, 98%sweet, 95% loving, 90% talented n 100% down 2 earth. That? s me! what a waste if u lose me..

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let go but how u hold on.

Do you believe in LOVE at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams

FRIENDS are like stars.....
you do not ALWAYS SEE
them but you know they are
always there...

I asked God for a Flower,He gave me a garden I asked for a tree he gave me a forest I asked for a river he gave me an ocean I asked for an angel he gave me you

When God opened the door of heaven,He saw me & asked what is ur wish 4 2day I said lord plz take care of the1 reading this message.

I always lose control when ur by my side. u have bcome the light of my life. I always enjoy the time i spend with you. I think i'm falling in love with you!

When I look at you, my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have!

Under the sea, there lays a rock. In the rock, there is an envelope. In the envelope, there is a paper. On the paper, there are 3 words... 'Forget me not'

A memory is golden, maybe that is true. I never wanted memories. I only wanted you sweet as a rose, cute as a kitten is what you are.

Forgive my eyes 4 admiring your beauty.U stole my heart the moment U looked at me,call me crazy call me insane every time my heart beats it mentions your name

SMS Jokes-2

Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,
ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye...,
Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!!

Jo assani se mile wo hai ghum,
jo mushkil se mile wo hai paisa,
jo kissi-kissi ko mile wo hai pyaar,
jo naseeb waloo ko mile wo hai apun ka SMS!!!

surprise NEWS.4 You, Rent Free Accomodation, Khana Peena, Sona,Rahna.....every thingis free.4 more details......... Just Dial.....(15)

Zindgi hay to Khwab hain,
Khwab hain to Manzilen hain,
Manzilen hain to Rasty hain,
Rasty hain to Mushkilen hain,
Mushkilen hain to..........
aap kis leye hain.......? " Hath paon hilaen na........"

Har desh ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
bache ki bhi ek jidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai

Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh sms karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
* vele = lazy ( Punjabi word)

Humse door jayoge kaise,
Dil se hume bhulayoge kaise,
Hum to vo khusboo hain jo aapki saanso mein baste hain,
Khud ki saanso ko rok payoge kaise

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...

You must be a good runner because you are
always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter
because I Miss You Always...

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..
us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai...
maano..."Shhhsss...KOI Hai" se bhoot nikal aaya hai....

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...

Phool khilte rahein zindgi ki raah mein
hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein
kadam kadam par mile khushi ki bhaar aapko
dil deta hai yehi dua baar-baar aapko

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...

Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai.
mann me har waqt hum ek aas rakte hai,
jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka
is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai

Muskura do jara khuda ke vaste,
sama-e-mahefil mai rosni kam hai,
tum hamare nahi to kya gum hai,
hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?

Chehre pe ashko ki lakeer si ban gayi
Jo na chaaha tha vo takdeer si ban gayi
humne to chalaayi thi ret pe ungli
gaur se dekha to unki tasveer si ban gayi

Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki
har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hu ki ghar ki bijli katwa du
kambaqt bill bohat aata hai

jawaab teri shayari ka....
denge hum shayari mein....
naam tera likh baithe hain....
apne dil ki diary mein....

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

.Hi Vajpaye needs 500 donkeys to attack on Pakistan. 499 ja chuke, message milte hi niklo

Dil ka Rishta hai hamara,
Dil ke kone me hai Naam tumahra,
Her yaad me hai chehra tumahra,
SMS nahi to kya hua Zindagi bhar saath nibhane ka wada hai hamara

Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,
Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,
Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,
Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge.

Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
Phirte hain vo zamaane ki talaash mein,
bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta !!!

Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
is umeed ke saath ki aayega SMS aapka,
humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain....

Zindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai naa taal hai,
Msgbox bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,
yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain.
man main har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai.
najane kab aa jaye aap ka sms
is liye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.

Dhirendra

9958549469

SMS Jokes-1

Everynite as i lie in my bed all i cis those sexy eyes, kissable lips, smooth skin, DROP DEAD gorgeous body!DAM. i've got 2 moveDAT MIRROR FROM MY CEILING

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

ive won a trip for me and 50 mates for 2 weeks aboard a luxury yacht in fiji, inclusive with ?1500 each speandin money.........can you feed my dog while i'm gon?

I was nervous at first, it was big & long it went straight up, i had 2 try it, i eased myself onto it i liked it. I went up & down on it .... NOW I LOVE ELEVATORS!

What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET

A phone call is a form of communication,a kiss is a form of affection,a photo is a form of rememberance having me as a friend is a form of having good taste!

Last night, I wanted you, needed u so badly it hurt. I wanted to taste you, wanted you inside me so you could work your magic on me... but I couldn't find you...... you stupid asprin

?i'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower uwith roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL

I have a confession to make
ever since i met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night i see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST

U have a brain disease. Your brain is in 2 parts, left and right. Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.

Its INTERNATIONAL GOOD LOOKING DAY! send this to someone that you think is gorgeous, dont send it to me as I have had 100s already

Q: If a devil catches ur wifr, wat wud u do?
A: U can do nothin. If devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

Dhirendra