Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Jokes-5
Sardar to Girlfriend- Darling main tum se shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana kar rahe hai.
Girlfriend- Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar- 1 biwi aur 3 bachche...
Sardar in a row to catch bus. after many ladies got in the bus, he try to get in,
DRIVER- no more, no more.
Sardar- Morni, Morni to chada li, ab hum chadne lage to
No mor.
Sardar:Express kitne baje ki hai?
TT: 1baje
Sardar: local?
TT: 9 baje
Sardar: malgadi?
TT: 12baje,
TT: kaha jana hai?
Sardar: Patri pe tatti karni hai
Sardar wife se : shanti ko bulao
Wife : Kaun apni kamwali?
Sardar : Haa
Wife : Kyun?
Sardar : Doctor ne bola hai ki goli khao.. aur shanti k saath so jao.
Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 14th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu k pathe EVERY YEAR
Dr. Sahab Plastic Surgery karwane me kitna kharcha aayega
Dr.- 5 lakh
Sardar: agar 'Plastic' hum de to.
Teacher ask 2 sardar student : A for?
sardar: "apple"
Teacher: "jor se bolo"
Sardar: "JAI MATA DI"
sardar ne apne ghar ki aadhi diwaar paint karne ke baad niche likh diya.
SAME AS ABOVE.
Ek sardar ki maa ki tabiyat kharab thi,
Jb hospital le gaye to
dr. bola- in ka test hoga.
Sd bola-in ki umar zyada he
test nahi one day ya 20-20 karva do.
Sardar- mujhe apki beti se shadi karni hai,
Boss- teri income to us k toilet paper bhi afford nahi
kar sakti,
sardar: acha! itni potti karti hai to phir rahne do.
Gang of sardars broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find glasses full of chilled lassi.
Happily they drink lassi and left
Next day's headline-
sperm bank looted
Sardar- "Dr.saab, ye dava kisi bhi medical store me nahi mili rahi hai"
Dr- "OHH SORRY, medicine likhni to mai bhul hi gaya
ye to mera signature hai"
In an interview
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: dhurrrrrrrrr
Interviewer shouts: stop it
Sardar: dhurr dhup dup dup dup!
Nurse- mubarak ho apke ghar beta paida huwa hai,
sardar- wah g wah kya technology hai,
Biwi meri hospital me hai, aur bachcha ghar paida huwa hai.
Sardar ka bura din: Darwaja khola Kundi hath me,
Nal khola Toty hath me, Suitkess uthaya Handel hath me,
ab dar raha hai su su karu ki na karu...?
Sardaro ki party chal rahi thi, Dj wala bola, kab tak Dj bajau?
Party Owner- tu 12 baje tak baja de uske baad to saale generator ki awaz pe hi nachte rahege!
Sardar ki Girlfriend ne usko sms bheja "I Miss U"
Socho Sardar Ne Kya Reply Diya hoga?
Socho?
SochO
"I Mr. U"
Sardar : kal jo shampoo liya tha uske saath wala free gift do.
shopkeeper : uske saath koi free gift nahi hai,
sardar : mujhe bevakuff mat samjo us par likha hai "DANDRUFF FREE"
1 Ship me 300 Sardar ja rahe the, bina Ship doobe
sabhi doob gaye
Kaise?
?
?
Ship band ho gaya
aur
sare Sardar dhakka dene k liye utar ga
Dhirendra Jha
Joke-IV
1st Sardar: 0ye Agar Neend Na Aye To Kya Kiya Jaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend Ka Intezaar Karne Se Behtar Hai Ki So Hi Jaye.
Sardar- Dr.main Khudko Bhagwan samjhne Laga Hu
Dr: Ye Problem kab Se Hai?
Sardar: Jabse Maine ye Duniya Banai hai.
aaj ki taza khabar: Sardar ne apni sagai tod di. Kyunki ladki kunwari thi,
Sardar ne socha- jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi.
Ek admi ne sardar ji ko pucha: Public ne aapko kyuu mara?
Sardar: Bus me mera photo gir gaya, maine bola Madam Saari upar karo photo lena hai.
Sardar- Bachpan me Maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
Judge- Kya kehti thi maa?
Sardar- Kaha na, kabhi baat suni hi nahi..
galti se sardar ji ladies toilet me ghus gaya saare mahilaon unko dekh k khadi ho gayi aur chillane lagi.
Sardar: izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai. BAITHO... BAITHO..!!
Ek sardar blue film dekh raha tha?
achanak apni biwi ko usme dekh kar chouka aur gussaya, phir baad me hans kar bola- ye to film hai, koi real life thodi hai?"
Sardar Ne Biwi Se Poocha: Aaj To Chicken Bahut Tasty Hai, kuch Khas Masala Lagaya Hai Kya?
Biwi : Kuch Nahi Thodi Si Jal Gayi Thi... Isliye Barnol Cream Lagaya.
Sardar was kissing a girl. Ek aadmi dekh raha tha.
Sardar:- Kya dekh raha hain?
Aadmi:- Mera number kab aayega?
Sardar:- Is ladki ke baad.
Sardar got a job in AIRTEL
customer: Hello my AIRTEL sim locked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tention remove AIRTEL sim put BSNL,
thank u for calling.
1 sardar daru k nashe me taxi me betha
bola chalo airport chalo
taxi wala: tum airport pe hi ho
sardar: yelo 50 rs. dubara itna taiz mat chalana.
Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, mashoka le ker kahan nikle "Sardar gets furious & slap him & says"
Oye.."mashoka hogi teri. Meri to behan hai"!
Bus chali...... Jhatka laga, 1 sardar 1 ladki pe ja gira,
Ladki boli: badtameej kya kar rahe ho.
Sardar bola: Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com. Kar raha hu..
Sardar: Bhai sahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham k 6 baje hain!
Sardar: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon,
sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
Sardar road se gujar raha tha, achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya aur achanak CHILLAYA !!
"haramjaade log TATTI bhi aise karte hai jaise SAMOSA pada ho.
Ek sardar apne marriage certificate ko 1 ghante se dekh raha tha
WIFE: tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
SARDAR: expiry date dhoond raha hu
Dr. k Band Clinic k aage lambi line thi,
1 sardar bar- bar line me ghusta, log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete,
sardar- Lage raho saalo, mai bhi clinic nahi kholunga.
Chhota Sardar: Mummy kal raat ko, phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.
Mummy: kamine aaj phir tune fridge mein susu ki!
Sardar on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.
She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.
Ek Sardar ki maut bijli girne se ho gayi..
par uski laash muskurate hui mili
Bhagwan ne pucha "aisa kyun"?
sardar ne kaha- "MAINU laga koi PHOTO KHICH raha hai"
1 truck dusre truck ko rassi s band kar leja raha tha,
ye dekh kar 1 sardar hass hass k kehne laga 1 Rassi ko le jaane k liye do do truck!
Train ruki to ek aadmi ne khidki k pass baithe sardar se pucha- kaun sa Station hai?
sardar bahar dekh kar kuch der soch kar bola- "Railway Station"
Sardar see a mobile tower with Red Lite On Top
Sardar: India is developing very fast,
Now we have TRAFFIC SIGNAL for PLANES.
what does a sardar ji scream, when the money came out of the ATM machine...?
?
?
I won... I won...?
interviewer: where r u born,
Sardar: punjab
Interviewer : which part?
Sardar: kya which part whole body was born in punjab.
a man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM
Sardar Train me susu karne gaya,
wife:apka pajama gila kaise hua?
Sardar: waha likha tha...
sharir ka koi ang baahar na nikale.
2 seater helicopter crashed on 'KABRISTAN' in panjab Next day news- PUNJAB me hawai jahaj gira Sardaro ne 250 lashe dhund nikali aur bhi talash jari hai.
Dhirendra Jha
2nd Sardar: Neend Ka Intezaar Karne Se Behtar Hai Ki So Hi Jaye.
Sardar- Dr.main Khudko Bhagwan samjhne Laga Hu
Dr: Ye Problem kab Se Hai?
Sardar: Jabse Maine ye Duniya Banai hai.
aaj ki taza khabar: Sardar ne apni sagai tod di. Kyunki ladki kunwari thi,
Sardar ne socha- jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi.
Ek admi ne sardar ji ko pucha: Public ne aapko kyuu mara?
Sardar: Bus me mera photo gir gaya, maine bola Madam Saari upar karo photo lena hai.
Sardar- Bachpan me Maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
Judge- Kya kehti thi maa?
Sardar- Kaha na, kabhi baat suni hi nahi..
galti se sardar ji ladies toilet me ghus gaya saare mahilaon unko dekh k khadi ho gayi aur chillane lagi.
Sardar: izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai. BAITHO... BAITHO..!!
Ek sardar blue film dekh raha tha?
achanak apni biwi ko usme dekh kar chouka aur gussaya, phir baad me hans kar bola- ye to film hai, koi real life thodi hai?"
Sardar Ne Biwi Se Poocha: Aaj To Chicken Bahut Tasty Hai, kuch Khas Masala Lagaya Hai Kya?
Biwi : Kuch Nahi Thodi Si Jal Gayi Thi... Isliye Barnol Cream Lagaya.
Sardar was kissing a girl. Ek aadmi dekh raha tha.
Sardar:- Kya dekh raha hain?
Aadmi:- Mera number kab aayega?
Sardar:- Is ladki ke baad.
Sardar got a job in AIRTEL
customer: Hello my AIRTEL sim locked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tention remove AIRTEL sim put BSNL,
thank u for calling.
1 sardar daru k nashe me taxi me betha
bola chalo airport chalo
taxi wala: tum airport pe hi ho
sardar: yelo 50 rs. dubara itna taiz mat chalana.
Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts "Oye, mashoka le ker kahan nikle "Sardar gets furious & slap him & says"
Oye.."mashoka hogi teri. Meri to behan hai"!
Bus chali...... Jhatka laga, 1 sardar 1 ladki pe ja gira,
Ladki boli: badtameej kya kar rahe ho.
Sardar bola: Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com. Kar raha hu..
Sardar: Bhai sahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham k 6 baje hain!
Sardar: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon,
sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
Sardar road se gujar raha tha, achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya aur achanak CHILLAYA !!
"haramjaade log TATTI bhi aise karte hai jaise SAMOSA pada ho.
Ek sardar apne marriage certificate ko 1 ghante se dekh raha tha
WIFE: tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
SARDAR: expiry date dhoond raha hu
Dr. k Band Clinic k aage lambi line thi,
1 sardar bar- bar line me ghusta, log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete,
sardar- Lage raho saalo, mai bhi clinic nahi kholunga.
Chhota Sardar: Mummy kal raat ko, phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.
Mummy: kamine aaj phir tune fridge mein susu ki!
Sardar on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.
She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.
Ek Sardar ki maut bijli girne se ho gayi..
par uski laash muskurate hui mili
Bhagwan ne pucha "aisa kyun"?
sardar ne kaha- "MAINU laga koi PHOTO KHICH raha hai"
1 truck dusre truck ko rassi s band kar leja raha tha,
ye dekh kar 1 sardar hass hass k kehne laga 1 Rassi ko le jaane k liye do do truck!
Train ruki to ek aadmi ne khidki k pass baithe sardar se pucha- kaun sa Station hai?
sardar bahar dekh kar kuch der soch kar bola- "Railway Station"
Sardar see a mobile tower with Red Lite On Top
Sardar: India is developing very fast,
Now we have TRAFFIC SIGNAL for PLANES.
what does a sardar ji scream, when the money came out of the ATM machine...?
?
?
I won... I won...?
interviewer: where r u born,
Sardar: punjab
Interviewer : which part?
Sardar: kya which part whole body was born in punjab.
a man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM
Sardar Train me susu karne gaya,
wife:apka pajama gila kaise hua?
Sardar: waha likha tha...
sharir ka koi ang baahar na nikale.
2 seater helicopter crashed on 'KABRISTAN' in panjab Next day news- PUNJAB me hawai jahaj gira Sardaro ne 250 lashe dhund nikali aur bhi talash jari hai.
Dhirendra Jha
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